


Diary of The Apocalypse Child (and His Mannequin Wife)

by rustic_space_fiddle



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Apocalypse, Diary/Journal, Five and Delores, He’s doing his best, Number Five - Freeform, POV Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy), Personal Diary, Post-Apocalypse, Smart boi struggles to stay alive, Survival, The Umbrella Academy (TV) Spoilers, as a way to fuel his will to live, drunk Child at one point, five hargreeves - Freeform, he is so tired, i worry for mankind, it works apparently, mentions of the other Hargreeves kids, someone save him, tua - Freeform, whilst mannequin wife subtly mocks him, why is a child and a mannequin the only living/wholesome ship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 08:40:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20597894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rustic_space_fiddle/pseuds/rustic_space_fiddle
Summary: Excerpts from the personal rantings of the Apocalypse Child and his mannequin wife, Delores. Each chapter is a year’s worth of entries. Told from Five’s POV.





	1. YEAR ONE

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own Five or Delores or The Umbrella Academy. If that wasn’t obvious. :D

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Year One. Day 1 to Day 362.

**Day 1**

April fools. Very funny guys, you can come out now.

* * *

**Day 2**

I think I’ve actually adjusted to this whole thing. I’ve got a wagon, a friend to keep me from going crazy, assuming I really am the only person left alive, and an umbrella. Good start.

* * *

**Day 3**

I tried to jump today, but I couldn’t do it. I honestly don’t know why. Maybe it’s for the best. Clearly I needed to calculate my jumps, and after jumping at random four times, I probably completely warped whatever sense of time my being might have had. I’m not going to try again until I can figure this out mathematically. I may be an idiot, but math is never wrong. 

I’ll bet Dad is laughing somewhere under all this rubble.

* * *

**Day 4**

I found them. If they didn’t make it, no one did. Except maybe whoever killed them. Note: Ben and Vanya weren’t there. Or me. Would I be there if I get back to the past (my present) in the future? I’m gonna lose my mind.

* * *

**Day 5**

Buried them. Had nothing to say. I didn’t even know them anymore. I don’t know who they became. [_something illegible, scratched out_]

* * *

**Day 7 **

Good news: Ben didn’t die in the apocalypse. Bad news: he died way before he should have. Figures. Still haven’t found Vanya. Found her book, though. It’s a tough read. I’m almost glad I missed all that drama, but I really miss them. Even Dad, may his soul burn for all eternity.

Haven’t figured out the cause of it all, yet. I want to say nuclear, but I guess I’ll find out. If it is, destruction of this magnitude means I should be dead of radiation poisoning in a week or two, and that’s being generous on my behalf. I can’t tell if my queasiness is radiation poisoning or that spam I ate yesterday.

* * *

**Day 10**

I’m beginning to doubt the nuclear war theory. I saw a rat yesterday. It had a normal amount of heads and legs, and it wasn’t dead. I guess we’ll see.

* * *

**Day 22**

I’m not dead. I’m gonna go ahead and rule out nuclear war. I wonder if I could build something nuclear powered to enhance my ability and launch me back in time? Unlikely, but what have I got to lose?

Still haven’t found Vanya, but even if I did, I wouldn’t be able to recognize her at this point. She isn’t alive, at any rate. Guess it’s just me. And Delores.

* * *

**Day 41**

Delores is really starting to grow on me. It’s scaring me. Almost more than literally everything else on this godforsaken husk of a planet.

* * *

**Day 79**

Just went two days without water. I thought I saw someone, but I’m pretty sure it was just a hallucination. Unfortunately, I followed that hallucination into a ditch and woke up a whole quarter mile away from the wagon. Got back just fine, and found a bottle of water to boot. Nothing missing when I returned. Delores kept good watch, but would it be too much to ask to let me know when I’m wandering off? 

Mannequins, am I right?

* * *

**Day 120**

Nothing is working. Granted, I doubt I’ve tried everything. Delores keeps telling to keep my chin up and my brain on. Easy for her to say—her chin is plastered up and she has no brain.

* * *

**Day 183**

Happy birthday.

* * *

**Day 217**

Almost lost a hand today. Man may die, but machines will soldier on for at least another year, or so I discovered. Delores tells me I should be grateful, because she’s a triple paraplegic and has no hair. Her exact words. She’s so dramatic. 

It’s getting really frickin’ cold. I may die soon. I’ll keep you posted.

* * *

**Day 268**

Merry Christmas. Found Delores a new blouse today. Blue with little white reindeer on it. She said it was cheesy but she liked it anyway. She didn’t get me anything, but her company is enough of a gift. 

It is very, very cold, and from what I can tell, it’s just getting colder.

* * *

**Day 275**

New year, new me.

* * *

**Day 293**

I wish I’d paid better attention in frostbite class. I can’t feel my hands. Delores mocks me from within her plastic corpse-like interior. I almost wish the world was on fire again. At least I’d be frickin warm.

* * *

**Day 315**

Why am I writing this? Only Delores and I can read it. Delores says that’s probably for the best. I can’t tell if that’s an insult.

* * *

**Day 340**

I heard a bird today. I thought I was hearing things again, but Delores said she heard it too. It chirped twice. It was probably one of the most amazing things I’ve ever heard.

* * *

**Day 362 **

I decided I’m not <strike>smart enough</strike> Delores says to say “well versed enough” in the art of mathematics to really pinpoint my time trajectory. I’m gonna teach myself math until there’s no more math left to learn, and then I’m gonna create new math. I’m gonna get home, if it kills me. 

Shut up Delores.


	2. YEAR TWO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Year Two — Day 365 to Day 702.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: don’t own this boi or his gorl

**Day 365 — April 1 **

Year one complete. Finally warming up out here, and I’m pretty sure some green is starting to appear. It’s actually pretty cool how fast the world bounces back.

* * *

**Day 369 **

Going on an adventure to find a big library. Delores is my navigator.

* * *

**Day 371**

Delores is not the best navigator, but she’s doing her best.

* * *

**Day 384**

Finally found a library with some shelves still standing. I’m gonna try to reorganize what I can.

* * *

**Day 402**

My brain is on fire, I swear. I’ve been breathing, eating, sleeping, and s***ting nothing but differential equations for almost a month now. Delores has been pretty helpful. It’s weird, but bouncing the problems off her actually makes it a bit easier. She might be smarter than me.

* * *

**Day 415 **

I’m writing this with my right hand thanks to a feral dog I found. I made the mistake of going to pet him. He grabbed my arm and wrenched it really badly. I managed to beat him off with a rock in my other hand. Shot him when he wouldn’t leave. My inner dog-loving brain is sad, but that side of me that’s only had roaches and the occasional rat is ecstatic.

* * *

**Day 437**

My arm is finally feeling better. Still studying and thinking. Delores is a delight to talk to, but sometimes she doesn’t know when to hold back on the sass.

* * *

**Day 468**

Studying topology now. I’m sure something there can help me.

* * *

**Day 520**

Library doesn’t have anything more on that. We’re gonna try to find another library to loot.

* * *

**Day 549**

New library found. I think it belonged to a IT school—lots of good stuff on dimensional manipulation theories. I’m gonna sleep a little before I jump into it. 

Oh yeah: happy birthday.

* * *

**Day 572**

Everything I’d been doing up to this day was completely wrong. I have to scrap everything and start over. I should’ve listened to Delores. She’s never gonna let me live this down. Also its getting frickin’ cold again. Whoo-hoo.

* * *

**Day 585**

We packed up as many books as we could and we’re heading back to the Library now. Just in time, I think. A storm is coming.

* * *

**Day 589**

<strike>Me and Delores</strike> Delores and i took refuge in an busted bar last night. <strike>It was big snorstorm</strike> there was a big snowstorm. I was pretty sure I was gonna freeze to death but I remembered this thing I read about big dogs <strike>One was named Ben i think</strike> and kegs and it said liquor could keep <strike>your</strike> you warm. Delores said I shouldn’t, but I was really really cold so I dug up a bottle of something and I drank it. I guess it worked cuz I’m not dead, but my head is killing me and I had the weirdest frickin dreams. Klaus was jumping <strike>aroun</strike> and yelling at me, telling me I was dead or something stupid like that. [_something scribbled out_] Weird? Aside from that, stuff worked good though. I’m gonna bring some more along for <strike>emergan</strike> emergencies. 

Calm down, Delores. Your not my mom.

* * *

**Day 590**

I’m looking back over what I wrote yesterday, and it’s safe to say that I was hammered. I’m going to listen to Delores this time and I’m gonna dump this crap out. I’ll just grab a few more layers of clothing from a mall to keep warm. I can’t afford to spend all winter drunk under the snow.

* * *

**Day 608**

Delores, I love you, but you do nothing to keep me warm at night. At least you’re cozy, I guess.

* * *

**Day 626**

Stopped at another library that we ran into on the way back to our Library. I found a copy of the book of plays Ben used to read. I remember teasing him about them pretty relentlessly. I kinda wish I’d been a little less of a jerk, considering I zapped myself into the future and he’s dead now and I’ll never be able to tell him I’m sorry. Scratch that, I _will_ be able to. I’m getting back. 

Maybe I’ll grab that book of plays and read them to Delores.

* * *

**Day 363**

Got Delores a fur hat and a matching mitten for Christmas. She actually almost looked happy when I put them on her.   
I miss them.

* * *

**Day 639**

God, I wish I had some fireworks to shoot off. Happy New Year.

* * *

**Day 653 **

It just hit me: I can make up holidays. I am president of the world. I am the entire government. I am the judge of this planet. It’s just me and Delores out here, running this rock. How have I been out here almost two years before this finally hit me? I can do whatever I want. I can drive, I can drink, I can smoke, I can jump on the bed, I can do _anything_. I’m finally having my Home Alone moment. 

I mean, it hardly matters, because there’s no point in rebelling with no one to rebel against. Besides, drinking and smoking would just kill me slowly. If I wanted to die, I could just do it. It’s not hard. If I got a goal in mind, I might as well not kill my liver and my lungs in the process. 

Anyway, that’s my Deep Thought for the day. Gotta get back to work.

* * *

**Day 670**

I hate math so much. I hate, hate, hate, hate it. I hate it. Hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate it. I hate it.   
Delores is telling me to stop whining and get back to work. She’s right, of course.

* * *

**Day 701**

Opened my mouth to say something to Delores and realized I hadn’t spoken in almost three whole days. My voice wouldn’t work for a whole ten minutes. I need to be more careful. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw his Deep Thought is based on that bit in the comics where he goes chimp feral on stuffed animals and then goes “oh no”. It’s a little different here but yeet whatever its fan fic come at me

**Author's Note:**

> Hello yes there will be more I promise :)


End file.
